Race for Life? Nah, Running Is Stupid!

Running is rubbish! It’s boring, expensive, and makes you fat. I just wouldn’t bother if I were you.

It makes you put on weight! Running makes you fat, flabby and overweight. You’ll be left with pasty skin and a chubby tum. Not a good look!

It’s bad for your health! Not only will running make you tubby, but it’s bad for your bones, heart and lungs.

It’s a selfish sport! It doesn’t help anyone. It’s pretty self indulgent really.

It’s lonely! There’s no team involved, so you’ll always run alone.

There’s never anything new happening! It’s always the same old thing, and the same old routes. You get really bored of running the same distances in the same towns.

It depends on the right weather! It’s completely impossible to run in wind, rain, snow, fog, cloud or gorgeous sunshine.

It’s expensive! You need heaps of kit and expensive equipment from specialist shops only accessible to the elite.

It’s too difficult! One leg in front of the other – it’s a nightmare. It takes ages to learn the right techniques.

It makes you cry! Running makes you feel sad, depressed and stressed out.

It gives you wrinkles! Nothing ages you like a long run. You’ll come back with a face full of wrinkles looking way older than your years.

So there you have it. Running really is rubbish and we really don’t want you to get involved. But if you insist , we’ll be doing the Race for Life in Battersea Park the 6 May. Walk, jog or run 5K to raise money for Cancer Reasearch, get fit(ter) for Beach 2009 and have a laugh with us. Weather permitting, we’ll organise a picnic for all who join us.

Now, who’s gonna come and do something really stupid with us?